It was the sixteenth year of Kangxi's reign.

 

The Revolt of the Three Feudatories had been reduced to Wu Sangui clinging to his last breath. Inside the Qing palace, the young emperor had begun to grasp the full reins of power. Even the attendants in the deepest reaches of the palace seemed to sense the growing weight of his authority.

 

Although there was no new empress yet to oversee the inner palace, the palace attendants stepped carefully, not daring a single misstep.

 

But none of this had anything to do with the tiny dumpling in a small heated chamber of Qianqing Palace.

 

Bundled into a round little ball, Yinreng rolled from the left side of the couch to the right, then from the right back to the left. Then he flopped onto his back, small belly poking up, looking exactly like a limp little kitten that had given up on its dreams.

 

As an upstanding young citizen of modern society, getting yanked from convenient modern life back to the Qing dynasty after one act of heroism was already miserable enough.

 

After nearly half a year of constant low fever and weakness, he had finally integrated the memories of his life before his last one. He discovered that his previous-previous self was that tragic Crown Prince Yinreng, which made things even more miserable.

 

Those memories didn't affect Yinreng's personality. To the tiny dumpling Yinreng, they felt less like memories and more like accumulated resentment.

 

Yinreng skimmed the memories and was done with them. What truly shook him was what his previous-previous self had endured.

 

Forty years as Crown Prince was nothing. He had no desire for power or status. Hadn't there been plenty of crown princes in later eras who lived perfectly well for fifty or sixty years in the role? A lofty position with no actual work, just lying around like a salted fish? Wasn't that the dream of countless modern young people?

 

But Kangxi's excessive control and indulgence toward his children was something Yinreng truly couldn't stand.

 

Modern kids whined for hours when their parents walked into their rooms without knocking. Kangxi... well, better not to mention it. Anyone in his shoes would lose their mind.

 

Then Yinreng remembered the cramped quarters of Yuqing Palace and compared them to the pavilions, towers, and big gardens of his brothers' princely manors.

 

The sorrow only deepened.

 

I'm the Crown Prince! Why don't I get pavilions and towers and a big garden?! Why am I locked up in the palace, cooped up in Yuqing Palace, that little maze?! All my brothers get to be cooped up in giant princely manors! This isn't fair!

 

I want a big house! I want a big garden! I want to be confined to a huge estate where I can farm! Preferably one with hot springs!

 

This pampered Crown Prince gig? I'd rather pass.

 

But this needed careful planning.

 

Yinreng patted his small belly.

 

This freebie dad of his, Kangxi, had plenty of flaws, but one thing was working in his favor: he was soft-hearted toward his children and would absolutely never kill a son. If courting death didn't kill him, he'd court it harder. Yinreng knew exactly where Kangxi's bottom line was, and he could absolutely get himself deposed early.

 

But if he wanted a huge hot-spring estate as his place of confinement, turning his exile into a delightful Qing-dynasty hermit lifestyle, that would take real finesse.

 

Yinreng needed a way to court death that pushed against his emperor-dad's bottom line without truly turning him against Yinreng. Something that even left the Emperor a little heartsore would be best, as that kind of stunt could definitely get the Crown Prince title revoked.

 

The more Yinreng worked his brain, the drowsier he got.

 

He had only just turned three this past May. The tiny dumpling's "hardware" meant that whenever he tried to think like an adult, his body got tired quickly and dragged him toward sleep.

 

His attention also wandered easily. Even when he managed to focus and string coherent words together, he'd quickly forget what he'd been saying and slip uncontrollably into the unintelligible babble of a small child.

 

Being a tiny dumpling was hard.

 

Drifting in and out of sleep, Yinreng started rolling around again, pondering the perfect plan for his ideal Qing-dynasty hermit life.

 

Yinreng looked utterly bored, but the servants in the chamber kept their eyes lowered. As long as he didn't roll off the couch, they pretended not to see. Not one of them tried to come over and soothe him.

 

Kangxi watched over this Crown Prince closely. Anyone who dared to get close to Yinreng before had been swiftly dragged off. Even those who weren't dragged off didn't last long, so those serving the Crown Prince rotated out every month.

 

Better to do less than more. More work meant more mistakes.

 

Serving the Crown Prince was just a stepping stone. As long as they did their basic duties and survived the month, they would be transferred elsewhere.

 

After rolling around for a while, Yinreng rolled himself hungry.

 

He tried to flip himself up to a sitting position, but several attempts failed because his clothes were too thick and bulky.

 

Moreover, nobody came to help him. They were probably all waiting for him to call out for someone.

 

A flicker of loneliness crossed Yinreng's eyes as he missed his family back in the modern era.

 

Unable to sit up, Yinreng spread out into a starfish shape and gave up trying.

 

The salted fish kitten chose to lie flat.

 

Just as Yinreng flopped back down, the handsome young man who had been peeking through the window crack for some time finally brushed the fine snow from his shoulders, shook his head with a smile, and stepped around toward the door of the chamber.

 

Kangxi pushed the door open, and the little chamber was instantly filled with the sound of people dropping to their knees.

 

The faint smile on his face vanished as he waved for the servants to withdraw.

 

Chief Eunuch Gu Wenxing took the snow-dampened cloak from Kangxi's shoulders. Deputy Chief Eunuch Zhao Chang received the hand-warmer Kangxi had been holding and offered him a silk handkerchief in return.

 

After Kangxi wiped the thin film of sweat from his palms with the handkerchief, he walked over to Yinreng and propped the still-sprawled tiny dumpling upright.

 

"Father is here, and you don't even greet me?" Kangxi flicked Yinreng's nose, his light smile returning.

 

With his head not working well due to hunger, Yinreng knelt and bent forward in the crook of Kangxi's arm. "Greet, greetings to Father, ow!"

 

The round little dumpling had bonked his head straight into Kangxi's ribs. Yinreng covered his head with watery eyes while Kangxi rubbed his chest, caught between laughing and crying.

 

Zhao Chang, only two years younger than Kangxi and a personal attendant since the start of his reign, lowered his head. His shoulders trembled slightly as he hid his laughter.

 

Gu Wenxing, who had watched Kangxi grow up and held something of a teacher's standing with him, was much more relaxed.

 

He gave Kangxi a gentle smile. "Why bother teasing His Highness, Your Majesty? The Crown Prince's forehead is already bumped red. Who else will ache for him but you?"

 

One hand rubbing his chest, the other rubbing the tiny dumpling's forehead, Kangxi said grumpily, "Eunuch Gu, are you saying I am wrong?" (T/N: 朕 [zhèn] - Emperor pronoun for I/We, will always be italicized for distinction)

 

"This old servant wouldn't dare." Gu Wenxing smiled and lifted the head-clutching Yinreng from Kangxi's arms, rubbing the boy's head for him.

 

The bonk had been a hard one, and a small lump actually had risen on Yinreng's forehead.

 

Kangxi nearly laughed himself breathless. "Eunuch Gu, hurry up and rub Baocheng's lump down! When Grandmother sees him later, she'll really think I bullied him."

 

Watching Kangxi's affection toward Gu Wenxing and Gu Wenxing's ease in the emperor's presence, Zhao Chang felt a flicker of envy.

 

The form of address "Eunuch Gu" had been carried over from the Ming. The only people in the palace who could be called by eunuch and surname were the old hands left over from the former Ming court. Everyone else went by title and given name.

 

Most of those retained from the former Ming court were educated men. They served as Chinese-classics tutors for the early Qing princes, accompanied the early Qing emperors through their most uncertain years on the throne, and taught proper conduct to the eunuchs who came after.

 

Most of the former Ming eunuchs who had once taught Kangxi calligraphy and how to parse classical sentences had grown old and left the palace by now. Only Gu Wenxing was still middle-aged, and Kangxi trusted him deeply, treating him as a teacher.

 

Even though Zhao Chang counted as the second-longest-serving person at Kangxi's side after Gu Wenxing, the gap between first and second was a wide chasm.

 

Yinreng tilted his head up to look at Gu Wenxing, who looked less like a eunuch but more like a well-read, soft-mannered scholar, and dug this man's past out of his already-numb little head. Then, from overworking his brain, he tipped backward and toppled headlong into Kangxi's arms.

 

Grrrrumble. Yinreng's stomach growled like thunder.

 

The tiny dumpling tugged feebly at Kangxi's sleeve. "Hungry."

 

Gu Wenxing shot Zhao Chang a look, and Zhao Chang immediately went off to the small kitchen to fetch Yinreng's food.

 

Yinreng didn't like breast milk, he threw up whenever they fed him any. So his food had long since been switched to cows' and goats' milk porridge, which were kept ready at all hours in the small kitchen of Qianqing Palace.

 

"How did you get so hungry? Am I short of food to feed you?" Kangxi held Yinreng close, half-laughing, half-exasperated. Even his self-reference had shifted from imperial 'I' to a casual 'I'.

 

Gu Wenxing took the cue and let go, letting Yinreng tumble fully into Kangxi's arms.

 

Zhao Chang came back with the milk porridge at exactly the right temperature. He tasted a spoonful first with a silver spoon, then switched spoons and handed the bowl to Kangxi.

 

Kangxi fed Yinreng himself, one small spoonful at a time.

 

Yinreng held on to what remained of his adult dignity, slurping down the milk porridge bite by bite, licking his lips one moment, dabbing the corners of his mouth with a little handkerchief the next, keeping his small face clean.

 

This tidy little manner was so much like a kitten's that Kangxi couldn't help giving Yinreng's chubby cheek a gentle pinch as his smile deepened.

 

"When you're hungry, tell someone to bring you food." Only after Kangxi finished feeding him did he start in on a lecture. "You are the Crown Prince. They are all here to serve you."

 

Yinreng covered his mouth and let out a small milky burp, then said unhurriedly, "Don't know them. Don't — don't talk to strangers."

 

Kangxi steadied the child with one hand and pressed his forehead with the other. "Where did you get this wariness from? I certainly never taught you such a thing!"

 

With a full stomach, Yinreng got sleepy and slumped against Kangxi's chest. His head bobbed, and he yawned without stopping.

 

Gu Wenxing fetched a pellet drum from the head of the couch and handed it to Kangxi, who shook it next to Yinreng's ear: rattle-rattle, rattle-rattle.

 

Yinreng =_=#.

 

So annoying.

 

He stuck out his pudgy little paws and waved them around, trying to snatch away the pellet drum Kangxi was making mischief with by his ear.

 

Kangxi stretched his arm out and shook the drum harder. "No sleeping. In a bit, you're coming with Father to see your Great-Grandmother. Baocheng, perk up."

 

Yinreng looked up at Kangxi's handsome, mischievous-grinning face and pouted. Crying was out of the question, so he grabbed a fistful of Kangxi's sleeve and stuffed it into his mouth to chew on.

 

Kangxi laughed harder.

 

Yinreng was deeply put out.

 

This trick wasn't working at all anymore.

 

Back when his previous-previous life's memories hadn't yet awakened and only thought of himself as a modern person who'd transmigrated, Yinreng already rejected this Crown Prince position and had been courting death on a small scale.

 

His tricks weren't limited to biting Kangxi's hand, climbing onto Kangxi's back like a baby koala, attempting to make trouble on top of Kangxi's head, and yanking at Kangxi's braid…

 

If not for the small scrap of adult dignity he still had, he'd have been ready to pee a puddle on Kangxi's dragon robe.

 

Kangxi had been shocked at first and tried to reason with Yinreng, but his son would always brush him off with an "I'm just a baby, I don't understand anything" attitude.

 

Yinreng was just waiting to deepen Kangxi's impression of him as unruly, unbearable, and unfilial, so a new Crown Prince could be picked nice and early.

 

The First Prince, for instance, was a fine choice. The First Prince's mother, of the Ula-Nara clan, was also from a great Manchu family.

 

Of course, once his previous-previous life's memories had returned, Yinreng knew this level of courting death wasn't going to cut it.

 

He was set as Crown Prince because his emperor-dad needed the principal empress's legitimate son for the role, and the First Prince's lineage didn't qualify.

 

What's more, Consort Hui of the Ula-Nara clan, one of the Big Four from the Qing-palace dramas of his previous life, turned out not to be from a prominent Manchu house at all, but a Plain Yellow Banner bondservant of the Imperial Household Department!

 

The future Consort Yi was a Bordered Yellow Banner bondservant, and wasn't in the palace yet as a maid, while the future Consort De was a Plain Yellow Banner bondservant, who was a palace maid for four years. Only Consort Rong of the Ma-Jia clan was a proper Plain Yellow Banner Manchu, and she ranked dead last among the four.

 

Just how into bondservants was his own emperor-dad, anyway?

 

He finally understood why his First and Eighth Brother, along with their entourage, ended up being walloped by their emperor-dad over that joint-petition stunt with the Mongol-and-Manchu officials. In this emperor's eyes, the old Manchu and old Mongol clans counted for nothing.

 

Kangxi had no idea his precious son was busy badmouthing him in his mind and was teasing the boy with great delight.

 

Kangxi had had several children before Yinreng, most of whom had died.

 

At first, he had grieved deeply, but later, he'd gone numb to it.

 

Once he'd gone numb, he stopped paying mind to his children's affairs until Yinreng was born.

 

This son was usually a lazy little thing and was only lively when he saw him. It was the first time Kangxi had ever felt that bond between father and son.

 

So this was what it was like, being a father?

 

Was this, more or less, the kind of childhood he had once wished for himself?

 

In Kangxi's eyes, Yinreng waving his little fleshy paws around gradually overlapped with his own younger self, who had lost both parents at a young age.

 

The arms wrapped around Yinreng tightened a little.

 

Yinreng had just gotten to his feet. After being pulled like that, he lost his balance and pitched forward. His big head went right into the pellet drum Kangxi was holding.

 

"Owww!" Yinreng plopped down on his bottom in Kangxi's lap, both hands clutching his head while trying hard to hold back tears.

 

Kangxi looked down and saw a lump on top of a lump on Yinreng's head. He couldn't help bursting into laughter.

 

Zhao Chang once again bowed his head and held back the trembling in his shoulders while Gu Wenxing smiled and sighed.

 

This Majesty of theirs, now that he had the Crown Prince, was more mischievous than he'd been as a boy.

 

When the Grand Empress Dowager saw the lumps on the Crown Prince's head later, there'd be no end of nagging.

 

 

 

Author's Note:

A reminder: This is a semi-fictional Qing Dynasty fantasy novel. Please do not attempt to verify historical accuracy. Writing advice is not welcome. This is purely for enjoyment and a lighthearted, unrestrained story. If you don't like this kind of writing, please don't read it.

 

If I'm still interested, my next book will be about the Ming Dynasty, then working backwards through the Song, Tang, and so on—using the same formula throughout, all mindless historical fiction.

 

Note: This article's information comes from 《Draft History of the Qing Dynasty》, 《A New Exploration of Eunuchs in the Kangxi Era》, 《Imperially Commissioned Statutes of the Qing Dynasty》, and《Imperially Commissioned Genealogy of the Manchu Clans of the Eight Banners》, etc.

 

Also: Xiao Shi's 《Yongxianlu》 from the Qing Dynasty, which states that Consort Hui was Mingzhu's sister, is incorrect. Not only are the Ulanara and Yehenara clans not the same surname, but even if they were both "Ulanara," the branch of the Fourth Prince's Consort belonged to the Plain Yellow Banner, while Consort Hui and Consort Tong were both bondservant. Xiao Shi's 《Yongxianlu》 was largely compiled from official gazettes, court reports, imperial edicts, and memorials, no different from our current research methods; it's likely his research was flawed.